A novel idea? -- No weddings and a funeral -- Tell me the old, old story -- His story, history and the canon's story -- Mary Magdalene and the new gnosticism -- Something about Mary -- Those in the know -- Doubting Thomas -- Did the canon misfire? -- Consulting the canon professors -- Reading Borg again for the first time -- What if God was one of us? -- Postscript: truth decay in the twenty-first century.