A negotiation expert describes how the biggest obstacle to reaching agreements is usually not the other party, and explains how to become a negotiator by understanding and influencing one's own thoughts and actions first.

"The first step in any negotiation, conflict or difficult conversation"--Dust jacket.

The first negotiation -- Put yourself in your shoes : from self-judgment to self-understanding -- Develop your inner BATNA : From blame to self-responsibility -- Reframe your picture : from unfriendly to friendly -- Stay in the zone : from resistance to acceptance -- Respect them even if : from exclusion to inclusion -- Give and receive : from win-lose to win-win-win -- Conclusion: The three wins.