Includes index.

Introduction -- Beginning of school year : the curse of the nerd -- Labor Day : my family tree is full of nuts! -- Columbus Day : the mystery of history -- Yom kippur : starring Ephraim as himself -- Halloween : scare--or be scared! -- Fall break : win/lose/win -- Election day : if you say so -- Thanksgiving : give me a break! -- Christmas : who cares about Christmas? -- Winter break : the baby-sitter has spoken! -- New Year's Day : it. was. January -- Snow day : snow daze -- Valentine's Day : anybody but Howard -- Presidents Day : don't call me Abe! -- St. Patrick's Day : the luck of the Irish -- Spring break : hos-key-wow-wow! -- Easter : scrambled! -- Mother's Day : mom swap -- End of school year -- The end.