As both a tomboy and a late bloomer, comedian Jessi Klein grew up feeling more like an outsider than a participant in the rites of modern femininity. Now Klein offers a funny yet poignant take on a variety of experiences along her strange journey to womanhood and beyond. These include her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man," attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between being called "ma'am" and "miss" ("Miss sounds like you weigh ninety-nine pounds").

Tom man -- The bath -- Walking through the cloud -- Dale -- How to get older -- All the cakes -- Bar method and the secrets of beautiful women -- Poodle vs. wolf -- The cad -- Anthropologie -- Types -- The bachelor -- Connie -- Carole King and the saddest to-do list ever -- The lingerie dilemma -- How to get engaged -- The wedding dress -- Long day's journey into porn -- Leap of faith -- Ma'am -- How I became a comedian -- Dogshit -- Get the epidural -- The infertility chapters.