"As Elissa Washuta makes the transition from college kid to independent adult, she finds herself overwhelmed by the calamities piling up in her brain. When her mood-stabilizing medications aren't threatening her life, they're shoving her from depression to mania and back in the space of an hour. Her crisis of American Indian identity bleeds into other areas of self-doubt; mental illness, sexual trauma, ethnic identity, and independence become intertwined. Sifting through the scraps of her past, Washuta aligns the strictures of her Catholic school education with Cosmopolitan's mandates for womanhood, views memories through the distorting lens of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, and contrasts her bipolar highs and lows with those of Britney Spears and Kurt Cobain. Built on the bones of fundamental identity questions as contorted by a distressed brain, this memoir pulls no punches in its self-deprecating and ferocious look at human fallibility. Elissa Washuta is a member of the Cowlitz Indian Tribe. She serves as adviser for the Department of American Indian Studies at the University of Washington and nonfiction faculty for the MFA program at the Institute of American Indian Arts."--Provided by publisher.

The dread -- Note -- Please him -- Faster than your heart can beat -- Preliminary bibliography -- The kindling model in bipolar disorder -- Prescribing information -- Dear diary -- Fucker and fucked -- Dear diary, part 2 -- Sexually based offenses -- Actually ... -- Many famous people suffer from bipolar disorder -- I will perfect every line until my profile is flawless -- Please him, part 2 -- The global positioning effect.