Sir Humphrey du Val of the Table of Less Valued Knights - Camelot's least prestigious table, with one leg shorter than the others so that it has to be propped up with a folded napkin - doesn't do quests - until he meets Elaine, a damsel in distress with a secret to hide. Meanwhile, Queen Martha of Puddock is on the run from an arranged marriage to the odious Prince Edwin of Tuft. But an encounter with the Locum of the Lake (standing in for the full-time Lady) leaves her with a quest of her own: to find her missing brother, long believed dead. The two quests collide, introducing a host of Arthurian misfits, including a freakishly short giant, a twelve-year-old crone, an amorous unicorn, and a magic sword with a mind of her own.