Based on the author's 2011 Class Day Speech at Dartmouth College, provides humorous and unconventional advice for graduates of all ages on attaining happiness and success in life.

Number 1: your time in fraternity basements was well spent -- Number 2: some of your worst days lie ahead -- Number 3: don't make the world worse -- Number 4: marry someone smarter than you are -- Number 5: I'm sorry -- Number 6: help stop the Little League arms race? -- Number 6 1/2: read obituaries -- Number 7: take time off -- Number 7: your parents don't want what is best for you -- Number 8: don't model your life after a circus animal -- Number 9: it's all borrowed time -- Number 10: I have no idea what the future will bring -- Number 10: don't try to be great.