On the sacredness of life -- Introduction. The saline solution--an inner sea -- Land of smiles -- An encounter with Jordan Rose -- I had a farm in Africa -- Death of a mouse -- Intimate relationships -- A peek into the anus of--my child -- The well-hung dog -- Fiery serpent -- It hardly ever happens -- The anti-semitic tapeworm -- Mother always wanted me to be a real doctor -- Missus Murphy's baby -- The day I flunked the macho test -- The biblical plagues -- Alley cats and seagulls -- A better mousetrap -- Scandals and ghosts -- Spiny-headed monsters -- Bloodsucking beasts -- Ode to a cockroach -- Bats, bugs, and bloody bites -- Little fleas have littler fleas -- How to get rid of crabs -- Wild virgins -- Inexplicable behavior: some relationships are more intimate than others -- Topsy-turvy worlds -- A day in the Caribbean -- Tit, tit, tittie--cuckoo -- The game of life: name that category -- Paean of praise -- Tips for travelers.